I first realized I hate Swift in the dining hall at school when I was listening to her very originally titled song "Love Story." All I could discern in the lyrics was a repetitive mention of Romeo and Juliet. Even though the music didn't suit me, I thought the lyrics might - I'm into tragedies. So when I finally got around to looking up the lyrics, here's what I found for the final verse:
Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby, just say yes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm fairly sure that's not how Romeo and Juliet ends. I have to assume that Swift stopped reading halfway through. I wonder if she was using No Fear Shakespeare or the original text. Whatever it was, she didn't quite understand, judging by the line in the chorus that says You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess. Her grasp on the actual play must have been something like this:
I love how the entire song promotes the image of the weak female, with several mentions to the Juliet character waiting around and crying. How about something more like get up off your ass and do something? Or is that just too edgy for a country musician?
One might want to forgive these awful lyrics and assume that since she's so young, Swift must be a beginner. Well, that's not quite the case here - she spends quite enough time in the biography section of her official website congratulating herself for being so experienced and original:
“I didn’t want to write songs about being on the road and being on hotels and missing your family and missing your friends,” insists Swift. “When I was like 14 or 15 and I would hear those things on an album...being alone, living out of a suitcase... and I was always like, ‘Ugh, skip!’ I’m inspired by boys and love. I’d rather write songs about how I’m feeling and the relationship side of things.”
I simply cannot accept this as a legitimate excuse - how fucking hard is it to write lyrics for country music? All the naive young ladies who are buying up all the Taylor Swift albums and are also inspired by, erm, "love and boys" are going to think they can make it to the top too... fear for the future of popular music.
The next item that needs to be discussed is Swift's award-winning video, "You Belong With Me." Don't let the title fool you like the Romeo and Juliet references did, it may sound warm and fuzzy but I think there's cause for a bit of concern here. It all starts with Taylor watching a boy through his window - is this permissible? I know with the invention of the Twilight series we've all come to think that stalking and obsession is just about as romantic as it gets, but really? Anyway, in this masterpiece, Swift makes sure not to miss out on exploiting the most
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Oh God. She goes to high sc
hool and wears t-shirts? What is she thinking? And she's in the band? SOCIAL FUCKING SUICIDE. Oh, and don't forget the glasses. Girls that wear glasses, are you trying to be hideous? But wait! The thrilling conclusion will save us all!
Following the s
ame exact formulas of every high school movie ever, the big dance is the climax. (Which in turn has led more than one teenager to believe that their own prom will be something more than an overpriced dinner and dancefloor - like, for instance, the high point of her life.) In accordance with the rules, the main character has removed her glasses and/or taken her hair down and/or put on a dress and is miraculously HAWT. (See She's All That, The Princess Diaries, A Walk to Remember.) It is at this point we find out that the pretty blonde boy from next door has loved HER along, and not the popular but bitchy cheerleader! Funny that he should only admit this after Tay has ditched the glasses, sneakers, and t-shirt. What remains untold is whether or not she's quit the band yet. Remember girls, he really does like you, he'd just be too embarrassed to be seen with you if you're going to wear those atrocious lenses on your face. Change your look and he's yours!
If you want to stop here and say, hold up, it's clear that not all teen girls are dumb enough to buy into this. Swift begs to differ with the lyrics to another popular single from 2009, "Fifteen."
Cause when you're fifteen and
Somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
Much of the song is written to "you," as if generalizing the entire fifteen-year-old population. About halfway through, Swift changes "you" to "I" - this is much more fitting, as her statements were getting a bit specific to encompass the typical experience of a high schooler (You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail/And soon enough you're best friends/Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool/We'll be out of here as soon as we can - did that happen to most people?). So why the change in subject? I theorize that it's a trick; Swift wants you to think her song is about you, but in the end you find out it's all about her looking back on how stupid she was to lose her virginity to a boy. Oh wait, my mistake, she decided to celebrate her own coming of age while exploiting her "best friend's" folly - Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine/And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy/Who changed his mind.
So why the are Fifteen and You Belong With Me so ridiculously juvenile? The imagery in the videos is damn near sickening, and you would have to wonder if the people who directed them had ever actually been in high school. I theorize that she must be incredibly bitter about her own homeschooling. Perhaps she never got that prom climax she so desperately needed. If there's one thing the teenagers of today do not need, it's more pop culture bullshit that portrays high school as a battleground between vicious blonde cheerleaders and sweet misunderstood individuals interrupted only by the occasional dance or convertible ride to a cliff overlooking the city with a boy. Now I know a completely realistic portrayal of high school would not suffice for the entertainment industry, but would it upset the balance to subtly imply that academics are part of those four years?
Just as a bonus, take a look at how Swift answered this interview question:
4. When you are not touring, what do you like to do for fun?
My best friend, Abigail, and I like to drive past our ex-boyfriends' houses.
No red flags there.
No comments:
Post a Comment