People are stupid when it comes to communication, huh?

Sometimes, when I know that one of my friends is going out for the night, I am at a total loss for how to get in touch with them if I really need them.

Should I send a messenger pigeon? No, I certainly don't have enough time to train one of those. How about a telegram? That'd be swell, but the Western Union is too far away. Man, I really need my friend right this minute... what would someone as hip and with it as he be using to communicate?

Texting? Of course! All the kids are talking about texting these days. Okay, now I just need to know what to text. His landline telephone? Oh drat, he's not home anyway. That little machine beside his rotary phone at home would print out the text I sent, but then he wouldn't see it until he got home. Hello? Operator? I need to get in contact with Mark Zuckerberg, on the double. Would you kindly relay a text for me for me? That's zulu uniform charlie kilo echo... hello? She hung up on me!

Well I've exhausted just about every option I have here... wait a tick... Mark has a cell phone! What if I used my cell phone to send a text message to his cell phone? Does that option exist? It does! Now that that's over and done with, I guess I'll get on Facebook...

Mark Zuckerberg is going out, text the cell if you need me!

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, IF I WOULD HAVE JUST CONSULTED FACEBOOK I COULD HAVE SAVED MYSELF AN HOUR OF MAYHEM. HE POSTED FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS THAT CORRESPOND TO MY EXACT DILEMMA.

Conclusively... if your friends really require clarification about how they can get in touch with you, they might be so incredibly dense that they actually do need you. And how kind you are to let them know how to find you. You have a big heart, social network user. Ride on.